Like everyone else, I have heard of many couples with beautiful, lovely, and romantic stories, but it seemed like I can’t stop struggling heavily with dating.
It got to a time that I began to think that am going to forever remain single. Even though that wasn’t what I really wanted but had to settle for it after so many failed attempts to find and keep a partner.
To be fully honest, most guys out there face these struggles because often, we see even great guys that can sweep any woman off her feet with their Greek gods’ looks, personality, and what have you, cry a river over being single and we can’t help but wonder why.
But what we often get wrong is the character and behavior we put up in trying to get the people we love to love us back.
We believe our worth is linked to our appearance, we try to control everything and act in mysterious ways just to get them like us.
And most of the time, this behavior leads to the mistake most men make when pursuing the woman they love.
If you ever felt like:
- You’re stuck jumping from not more than two dates with women you’re hitting on
- Feeling bad or Less than a man when the woman you love rejects you
- Landing a romantic partner is an eternal struggle
- Thinking that love is difficult and not for you
Then you might’ve been doing some terrible mistake that is keeping you in such situations.
This usually happens when we don’t want to change or look through the behaviors that are stopping us to get the woman we love.
But luckily, you are the one who makes the mistakes, and you get to avoid the mistakes below if your want to get the woman you love.
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Stop feeling like you’re not good enough.
Do you ever have the feeling that you’re not good enough? Or that you fall short of the standards you’re supposed to meet?
The truth is that many men do.
Some men rationalize when they think about their crazy, sometimes hopeless, attempts to find and keep a partner. They rationalize and blame their perceived inadequacy for all of the difficulties in their “non-existent” love life.
We are constantly bombarded with messages about what society expects of us. And social media exacerbates this by telling us what we should be like. But what’s the issue?
Realizing how they don’t measure up against these “ideal” expectations makes a lot of men think they’re not good enough to date.
As a result, some men might out of these feelings of inadequacy avoid trying to find and get a partner. Telling themselves that they’re incompetent enough that they can’t date themselves.
For instance, a short man, or fat-ish, or even bald and is well aware of his not-so-great or poor looks might be struggling mightily with dating which is obviously a result of the way he thinks of and carries himself, will end up blaming his physical appearance for his love life misfortunes because he believes that he doesn’t in any way measure up against the expectations of an “ideal” man portrayed on social media.
Someone might think that since he can’t afford a car, luxury watches, designer wear, or even the most expensive dinner in town, he isn’t good enough or worthy enough to date.
But the truth is, attracting a prospective partner doesn’t solely depend on social status, and physical attraction but confidence and charisma.
So you don’t just blame your non-existent or terrible dating life on your looks, physical appearance, financial status, etc because it might actually be a result of your endless efforts to impress when it comes to women you’re attracted to
Hence, if you want to avoid the biggest mistake most men make pursuing women they love then you have to combine high confidence and charisma or charm plus great and flawless social and flirting skills.
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Learn to love yourself first
If you’re struggling to get the woman you love or if your dating life is only described as non-existent, it might be because you lack self-love and respect.
Most men while trying to get the woman they want let people define their boundaries, struggle to say ‘no ‘, and put up with whatever shit is thrown at them.
They don’t seem to know what makes them feel good let alone, prioritize them.
They always try too hard to be normal or worse, try to be people they are not because they’re ashamed of who they are.
And such behaviors are really nothing more than a lack of self-love and a lack of knowledge of their self-worth and value. That’s the reason why they find it difficult in attracting the woman they love.
Because nobody will be attracted to or desire someone with such a terrible defunct.
Hence, If you don’t truly love and respect yourselves, you won’t be deserving of receiving love.
That’s why you must learn to love and respect yourself first if you want to be loved and respected in return.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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The post How to Avoid the Biggest Mistake Most Men Make Pursuing Women They Love appeared first on The Good Men Project.